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This period signifies a full decade since the phrase “ghosting” entered the public consciousness. Initially, the notion that someone could instantly end communication with a lover without any notice seemed like the pinnacle of indignity. We were so innocent. In the ten-year span since, finding a significant other has only become more bewildering – an frequently pointless endeavor in embarrassment that is increasingly pigeonholed by social media lingo.

Gen Z, a demographic who came of age during a social isolation crisis, a masculinity reckoning, and a concerted attack on the freedoms of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a infinitely more complex terrain than their Gen Y predecessors could ever imagine. And so their dating glossary has grown more extensive and more unhinged, with terms like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” straining the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

The following list is a extensive glossary to the phrases Zoomers is using to discuss love, sex and the quest of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most popular online sayings, by the end of this list you’ll long to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Genuineness – In the view of gen Z, romance's ultimate goal is showing up as your real, unvarnished self. Good luck with that!

B

Avian theory – A social media test inspired by a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something minor – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and note whether your date's reply is engaged or brushed off. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' response to the “manic pixie dream girl” trope of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while oozing mystery and self-sufficiency. (She might still have that fringe.)

C

Support test – This refers to choosing someone who helps you proactively. If you entered a room, they would fetch a seat for you to take a load off.

Errand romance – A date where two people form a link while doing chores, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped twentysomethings do low-cost dating in a inflation-era world.

Crashing out – Having a breakdown when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can crash out over a crush or split, spilling all of your unreciprocated emotions.

The Letter D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a symbol of 80s yuppie affluence, it describes pairs who forgo having children to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of acting aloof: embracing communication, transparency and openness.

The Letter F

Flags

• Warning signs – Personal quirks suggesting a prospective partner is not right. Such as calling their former partners unstable, poor tipping habits, a love of controversial director films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Positive signs – These traits validate your choice to date a partner. For instance following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal screen time, having a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These usually describe specific, mostly harmless quirks. For instance being an keen birdwatcher, still carrying around a pen in their bag, paying the rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you find someone who’s just as passionate about documentaries about the second world war or DVD collecting or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who loathes the same stuff or people that you do (nothing creates intimacy faster than having a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A musical group a typical Zoomer guy likes.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of disappearing.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and loyal. The rare partner who is adored by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online community of men so fixated with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, purposefully delaying orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An ideal touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and happily home-oriented, who seemingly has no goals of her own other than pleasing her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to understand the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Icks – Arbitrary and often mundane dealbreakers that immediately extinguish any sense of desire.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else get an extremely romantic gesture.

The Letter J

Jobs – These have not been this crucial in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in sectors they perceive as being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, teachers or counselors.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the era of locking lips may be waning since some Zoomers prefer fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy believable.

Light catfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {